''I almost cancelled this morning.''
she said at the end of her photoshoot.
I was shocked, I had no idea!!!
This woman, though tiny, is a force.
She confidently speaks in front of large groups.
She has been integral in raising money for local charities.
And, she is an undeniable leader in her community.
"I am a mother of two beautiful girls, aged 20 and 16 and have been married to my amazing husband for 20 years. I work at Alberta Gymnastics, membership & finance, and just recently began working as a Master Coach Developer with Gymnastics Canada. My official day job takes a back seat to my love for volunteering including working with Made by Momma, president of parent council at my daughter's school and president of the Kinette Club of Calgary. My passion for philanthropy truly drives my daily motivation."
That doesn't mean that she is immune to the insecurities that we all have.
I went back and looked at her questionnaire answers on her application to be one of the 30 women I chose to participate in 30 Days of Gorgeous.
In her questionnaire she said
''I don't often allow myself the opportunity to feel beautiful.''
"My inner voice always has criticisms about what I can do better or how to try harder so it is difficult to let go and be in a moment where I feel beautiful.''
Yes, I remember now, it was these words that convinced me that Joanna needed to be a part of 30 Days of Gorgeous
I love photographing all women, but let's be honest. There are some that I love to photograph more than others.
Joanna is one of them.
If you doubt your beauty AT ALL, then I want you in front of my camera.
There is no greater joy than showing a woman like Joanna that she is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L.
You know why?
Cos deep down, she knew it. But she had doubts.
My biggest fear is that others will judge me.''
"In a world so negative and critical, I have seen and heard people make split second judgements about personality and appearance based on one photo. I'm terrified of being labeled according to other people's opinions of me even though I know that I should have the confidence and strength to say those opinions don't matter."
"I would love to participate in 30 days of gorgeous because "
''I'm scared of being forgotten.''
"Every family event, holiday and vacation I am the person behind the camera and never in any family photos.
I worry that one day my family won't have memories of me because I was too scared to be in a photo and instead hid behind the lens.
I'm scared that I'll risk taking opportunities because I don't want to be captured on camera and lose a chance to truly have the impact I have worked so hard to achieve.
I guess, 30 Days of Gorgeous means proving something to myself and convincing the negative voice in my head that I am wrong."
''It was the best afternoon I've ever had''
This woman who had just admitted to me that she nearly cancelled her shoot that morning is now telling me that this was the BEST AFTERNOON SHE EVER HAD.
If I wanted to go out on a high note, this would be it.
But, no, I feel like I'm just getting started!
''It was the best afternoon I've ever had''
She nearly canceled that morning but ended up having the best afternoon ever. She gave herself permission to feel beautiful.
''My favourite part of today? Having an opportunity to laugh and smile and just be.''
Me too, Joanna.
Laurie xo
shoot.print.love.laurie
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